Podcast: Juggling Motherhood and Self-Care: Beth's Weight Loss Journey

 

Summary and Insights from Beth and Dr. Orlena's Conversation

1. Human Drive for Glucose:

   • Seeking glucose is a natural human drive, not a personal failing or lack of willpower.

2. Two-Week Reboot:

   • Follow a strict diet for two weeks without refined sugars, white carbohydrates, or alcohol.
   • Focus on the Mediterranean diet with fruits, vegetables, lentils, and legumes.
   • Benefits: changes in taste preferences, reduced sugar cravings, easier access to internal energy, and a shift in mindset.

3. Habits and Mindfulness:

   • Many eating habits are automatic and require mindful awareness to change.
   • Building awareness helps in making healthier choices and changing habits over time.

4. Identity and Support:

   • Reflect on identity: think about being someone who eats healthily rather than indulging in sugar frequently.
   • Support and accountability are crucial for long-term success in maintaining healthy habits.

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Transcription of Podcast

Dr Orlena: Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to Fit and Fabulous with me, Dr. Orlena. I am super excited today, as ever, because we have a really special guest. Today, we have a guest called Beth Dunn, who is coming to share her story. Beth, welcome, welcome.

Beth: Thank you for having me.

Dr Orlena: Beth, where are you calling from? I'm

Beth: calling from Connecticut in the United States.

Dr Orlena: Perfect. And what's the weather like there at the moment?

Beth: Oh, it's really warm today. It's supposed to be in the 80s, we're enjoying some sunshine. Perfect,

Dr Orlena: perfect. I have no idea what the 80s are because I just talk a different language when it comes to temperature, but I'm glad that it's, the sun is shining for you.

Dr Orlena: Beth, would you like to start off by telling people a little bit about yourself and just sort of summing up a little bit of your struggles?

Beth: Sure. I'm a stay at home mom, I have about 30 pounds to lose, and I'm a little bit worried about the summer and being home with the kids, cause I find myself reaching for a snack when I really need a break, when I'm tired, when I'm bored.

Beth: When, you know, I'm gearing up for the, you know, the next round of, like, dinner, or I just find that it's just easier for me, like, if I'm watching TV, like, I just want a little something to munch on, and I know, like, I've had a fulfilling meal, I'm not hungry, it's more just that I just want a break.

Dr Orlena: okay, a couple of things going on there, and we will definitely dive into those in a minute, but just a few more questions about The 30 pounds.

Dr Orlena: How long have you been struggling to lose weight?

Beth: Since the birth of my second son, of my second kid, I've carried around the extra weight and I had a C section. I never did the core work that I should have done. I mean, I go to the gym religiously. I have a lot of really good healthy habits, but I just, I'm not able to really lose the weight.

Beth: I kind of gain the weight, like two or three pounds and lose two or three pounds. And I just kind of stay stuck.

Dr Orlena: Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. How old are your children now, Beth?

Beth: five and seven, and they're still not sleeping through the night. Oh my gosh. They keep waking me up at 2. 30 in the morning, and then they want to start their day at five, so I'm very tired, which I think is also one of the reasons I'm looking for an extra cup of coffee, a little something sweet, like just something to kind of keep me going, because there is no taking a nap or, you know, it's always go, go, go.

Beth: I'm always so busy until like, you know, the very end of the night.

Dr Orlena: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And you bring up a really, really good point. Just to recap the four pillars that we talk about, I'm thinking about health and, and weight loss. Now, number one is nutrition. Now, number one, nutrition obviously is super, super important.

Dr Orlena: Number two is exercise that lights you up and you're obviously doing some exercise, but as you have found out, Exercise is not the key to weight loss. And it is, I think it feels really demoralizing when people are, you know, pouring their heart into going to the gym and then not seeing any changes in terms of weight.

Dr Orlena: Pillar number three is what I call delicious, healthy sleep. And I'm going to come back to that in a second. And then. Pillar number four is the emotional wellness, so stress levels, so you're leading a stressful life, kids are stressful, full stop, there's no, you don't have to have, you know, extra stresses, just children are stressful, and, and it's just like that and the stress and the sleep tie into each other, so when you're feeling stressed, You don't sleep as well.

Dr Orlena: And when you don't sleep as well, you're more stressed. And then on top of that, you're absolutely right. That sleep is really, really important for weight loss. And it's actually going to be very difficult for you to really, and truly. Get on top of your weight loss when you're not sleeping, when your kids aren't sleeping well.

Dr Orlena: Now you're definitely not alone. What I would say to you is your children are nearly at the age where they should start to sleep through the night. That is the silver lining. Fingers crossed for you, because there's not really much that you can do if your children are waiting are waking you up other than perhaps thinking about getting some sleep training for them and thinking how, how can I do that?

Dr Orlena: But yeah, sleep is a big one. And part of the sleep problem is your cortisol, your stress level goes up and it's exactly as you described. I just want to sit there and wrap myself in a blanket and yeah, I know, I know. It's really, it's really horrible. You've given us this little picture. What other things have you tried Beth to lose weight?

 

Beth: I really loved your idea of you know, making it a lifestyle and doing with the Mediterranean diet I'm not a big fan of seafood and beans, which is like the one thing that like is a key component of it But I love vegetables. I love fruit I've been trying to really cut back on the processed things and really eat like the naked fruit Food like love that.

Beth: Naked food. That's, I love that . Yeah. I mean, I hate calorie counting. I wanna do more of like an intuitive eating kind of style. So I just really have been focusing on just getting more vegetables in at every meal. I basically, except for one to two cups of coffee. I only drink water. I, I don't do juices or I don't really do a lot of smoothies.

Beth: Occasionally I'll have a protein shake if I don't have time for like real food, but it's always, I always have water with me. I'm always drinking water. Water is all the time.

Dr Orlena: Perfect. It sounds like you've started making some really positive moves forward. And for that, I really congratulate you. And it's fabulous.

Dr Orlena: Now in terms of seafood, You don't have to eat seafood to be on the Mediterranean style diet. So the Mediterranean style diet is, I love it because it's so flexible. Some people eat meat, some people eat fish, some people are vegetarian. It's fine. It's whatever works for you. In terms of beans, I do recommend beans and lentils because they're so good for us.

Dr Orlena: Is it that. You're just not used to them, or do you actually actively dislike them?

Beth: Well, certain ones, like, I like chickpeas. Like, there are certain ones that I'll eat, but they have to be kind of prepared a certain way. Like, so I, I'm, I'm trying to experiment a little bit more with it. I'm just not super familiar with how to prepare them in a healthy way.

Beth: They're super

Dr Orlena: easy. You don't have to do anything. I think what you're saying is what I'm hearing you say is you're a little bit unfamiliar with them. And the problem with being unfamiliar specifically with lentils and legumes is there's two things. Number one, obviously our taste buds and what we're used to, but also the way we digest lentils and legumes, most of them are digested because they're so high in fiber.

Dr Orlena: They're really digested by our bio rather than by ourselves. , if you don't, if you're not eating them all the time, you don't actually have the bio that is used to digesting them. , it's a bit of a catch 22 situation that people are a bit like, oh, but they make me feel really bloated and I don't like them and it's unpleasant.

Dr Orlena: But Whereas you actually kind of need to push through that. I would say gently, you can just jump in and eat loads of them, but I would recommend going slowly and building up. Now, in terms of how you eat them, you can eat them. Well, there's actually three different ways you can eat them. You can buy them dried and then you soak them overnight and then you cook them.

Dr Orlena: For example, I do this. My Wednesday, I love this. I get black beans and cannellini beans with the white beans basically. And I soak them and then I do just a simple bean chili. It's so easy. It's beans, those beans, tomatoes, and literally I put a few spices in. So a bit of chili, a bit of cumin, a bit of paprika.

Dr Orlena: Sometimes I put a bit of salt in. Occasionally, if I have meat, I turn it into a meat one, or actually side note, I get my husband to do that because I don't really like cooking meat. But it's super easy. And then on Friday, we have that as nachos as well. I have leftover beans. That's one way. An easier way is just to buy And you can get them either in jars or tins, depending on how they sell them near you.

Dr Orlena: And those are pre cooked and all you have to do is open them and eat them. You don't actually have to do anything to them at all. You can heat them up if you want to, but you can turn them into a salad or you could turn them into hummus if you wanted to, but you can just either throw them into. I don't know, a pasta sauce, for example, or you could throw them into a stew or into a salad, like you don't have to do anything with them.

Dr Orlena: If you want to add flavor to them, you could do. , If it was a salad, you could put some salad dressing on it. Those are the first two ways. The third way that I really love as well, and you can't do this with all beans, but some of them like soya beans are very good for this. And some, I prefer the smaller chickpeas, but you can actually sprout them and you soak them overnight.

Dr Orlena: And then you need to keep them in a cool, dark space and, you know, rinse them every day. And then they start to grow like little plants. And they're actually really nutritious for you because they're super alive. They're actually living and alive as opposed to. Sort of been killed. They're really versatile as well.

Dr Orlena: They make a really fabulous snack. If I have them in my kitchen, it's one of the things that I sort of walk past and nibble without feeling any guilt whatsoever. You can then also put them in salads or put them in stews or whatever it is you're cooking. You don't need to now cook these. You can eat them raw, but you can also add them to, I don't know, a stir fry or anything like that.

Dr Orlena: I think it's worth persevering with them. And just, Playing around a little bit and thinking, yeah, let's just experiment and see, see, you know, that kind of, like, it's not, do you know what I mean? It's more, think of it as a game. Yeah, I'm,

Beth: I'm open to it. I got a couple of little cookbooks and stuff. I tried a couple things.

Beth: They're just not my favorite, but I'm, you know, I'm trying to see what other things I can incorporate in my diet. Cause I control the cooking and the grocery shopping and, you know, I kind of get a little bit of food fatigue because I'm always planning everybody's food, everybody's. , I mean, I try to make a meal plan, you know, I try to eat most of our meals at home every day I have a giant, large salad for lunch, you know, some days I, you know, I skip breakfast and my first meal of the day is a salad, and, you know, I try to push my meals back, so that way my window of eating isn't, you know, so big. But I seem to be craving sweets after a meal. Like, you know, and sometimes I'll pick up my kids leftovers, but I feel like my meals are usually pretty sweet. solid. I shouldn't really be hungry. I shouldn't be looking for anything extra.

Beth: I'm not really hungry. I'm not really full. I'm, I'm, I'm in a good place, but yet I still want like a little something sweet to end my meal.

Dr Orlena: Yeah, I totally get that. I totally get that. And I think there's several things that are going on there. One is what you're eating all of the time. Thinking about everything, and it sounds like you're making some really good changes.

Dr Orlena: But the reality is, is the more sugar you're eating, the more your body kind of craves it. The other aspect to it is really thinking about. What's that emotional piece that is underneath that? And it might be physical tiredness, but there also might be another emotional piece underneath that. And is there something that springs to mind for you?

Dr Orlena: Like, what's a negative emotion that you're feeling at that time? And what's the positive emotion you're trying to get from that food?

Beth: I mean, sometimes it's like, Oh, man, I'm gonna have such a busy night. Like, the kids are gonna be home from school soon. Like, Oh, you know, I'll, you know, get like a little chocolate or something, you know, to kind of push me through to like the last end of the evening or, you know, my whole family is having, you know, dessert and, you know, I don't really need dessert, but maybe I'm going to have like a little cup of coffee or something and like join them socially or, you know, it's just all the little extras, you know, the bites, the tastes, you know,

Dr Orlena: What I'm hearing you say is kind of, I don't feel like I'm being looked after properly.

Dr Orlena: I don't feel like I'm being cared for. Does that resonate with you? As a

Beth: mom, like, I kind of put myself last. I make sure everyone has everything that they need. I'm kind of like an afterthought. Like, I'm trying to get, like, A shower, or a little bit of self care, but, you know, I, I always kind of push it off to, like, well, you know, after the kids go to sleep, when nobody needs anything, you know, that's my time, you know, I try to get as much done as I can, you know, when I'm with them, so that way I can enjoy myself later, .

Beth: Yeah, I think, you know, that's kind of like how I kind of treat myself, like give myself a little pick me up, give myself a little something to look, you know, special or yummy or

Dr Orlena: Yeah, absolutely. And you're so not alone, and I totally get this, I've totally been there before, I have four children, and I totally understand you've got this long list of stuff to do.

Dr Orlena: But what I'd really like to help you do is change that around a little bit. Have you ever heard that phrase, put on your own gas mask first before you help your children? Do you know what I'm talking about? Like when you're on an aeroplane and they always say to you, parents, please put on your own gas mask first.

Dr Orlena: And it's really important because as the provider to those people, Your health is ten times more important. Yes, of course, it's super important to you, because you need your health and your wellness to do everything, but it's really important to them too, because once your batteries start getting low, and you're not looking after yourself, that has knock on effects for them too.

Dr Orlena: What's the best thing that you can do to help them?

Beth: Lead by example.

Dr Orlena: Well, yes, absolutely, lead by example. But more, what I was thinking was, prioritize yourself. Prioritize your own health and wellness. Yes.

Beth: Yeah, I mean that's why I joined the gym was so like I would drop the kids off at school And I would have like an hour to myself to kind of get a little workout in I was hoping it would really help With my energy levels because I do want to be an active mom. I do I don't want to be too tired to play I don't want to tell my kids that like, you know, mommy, I can't play tag.

Beth: Like I can't run. Like I can't cheat. I don't want to tell them. No, I want to be able to play with them and enjoy this stage. And it's terrible to be like, Oh, mommy's tired. Oh, I'm tired. But I really am tired because they don't let me sleep during the night.

Dr Orlena: Here's a really good time to ask you. And I love asking this question because I think it's really important for people to get clarity and imagine yourself.

Dr Orlena: Yeah. Standing at a crossroads. And so you can carry on and you've made some amazing changes, but you're not a hundred percent there yet. What happens down the line in 10 years, 20 years, what's the cost of not making those changes?

Beth: I do worry about that. Cause you know, for a while I've had like some back problems and things like I do worry about my, my long term health.

Beth: I mean, now I'm in maternity. My 40s, you know, what's life going to be like in 10 years and, you know, 20 years. And, you know, I was really hoping that if I started going to the gym and getting some of this weight off and, you know, maybe strength training a little bit that, you know, I would be more active as I age.

Dr Orlena: Yeah, absolutely. And so here's the, the other path, the path of making the changes and getting to what I call healthy, amazing youth. We're just going to wave a magic wand and say, You've got all of this. You know all of this. You know what to do, and you're doing it, and it's easy to do. What does life look like in 20 years time now?

Dr Orlena: I'm

Beth: hoping that I'm keeping up with the grandkids.

Dr Orlena: Yeah, amazing. Yeah. And, and, and going back to this, you know, you're talking about when I'm feeling stressed, when I've got this meal around me, I'm feeling like I am not a hundred percent looking after myself. I feel like I'm at the bottom of the list.

Dr Orlena: What would it look like for you to change that? And to be saying, do you know what, actually I'm putting myself first. How, what difference would that make in your life? I

Beth: mean, I definitely think it would give me a lot more joy, and I, I think it would be incredible. I'm not really sure how how I could make those pockets of time or make that happen. My husband has a, a really long work day, so he's not really around until like almost bedtime with the kids. , I mean, I do sometimes give the kids like some iPad time, some screen time to like give myself some down time or do the dishes or, so I'm not constantly having to entertain them.

Beth: But then I feel really guilty because like I don't want to always be like shoving them in front of a screen or, you know, I try to set out little art activities and sensory activities and then I have like another humongous mess to clean. It's just, I always have so much to catch up on. And I always feel like.

Beth: And I think that's part of why, like, I want a little something to snack on, is kind of to delay the procrastinate having to, like, move on to the next thing. Where I can just stay a little longer at the table, I can, you know, have a few more minutes before I have to, like, gear up to, you know, clean the kitchen, do the dishes, you know, handle bedtime.

Beth: I think that's another, like, alluring thing about me getting a break with food.

Dr Orlena: Yeah, no, and I totally hear you. I think the thing about being able to put yourself first is it's not necessarily about saying, yeah, you know what, I'm going to go off swing for an hour a day, which is what I do. Now, because I can, my children are older now, but I couldn't do that when they were your age, not your age, your children's age.

Dr Orlena: I totally get that, but it's not about the amount of time. Well, obviously that's part of it, but part of it also is your mindset of saying, okay, These are some of the things that I really need to do, that are healthy for me, that really are going to make a difference for me, and they're important for me to do, as opposed to, actually I'm going to put other people's needs first.

Dr Orlena: And obviously those things, are different for everybody, but the first step starts with, actually, I'm going to carve out time for the things that are important. It doesn't necessarily have to be going to the gym, doing lots of exercise. And those little things actually, they can be small things as well. Even just taking literally two minutes and being able to say, do you know what I realized that.

Dr Orlena: I've spent a long time with my kids today, and I'm feeling a little bit triggered, which is what happens with young kids. They're so full of energy and we're like, my goodness, could you just back off a little bit, please? But just being able to take two minutes and really being able to recharge your batteries in two minutes, which you can do.

Dr Orlena: It's not two minutes on your iPhone flicking through whatever social media. It's two minutes of actually focusing on myself and my energy levels and my body. And, and small little things like that during the day.

Dr Orlena: Here's, any, any questions about any of the stuff that we've talked about, Beth?

Beth: I'd just love to hear more about your tips on, you know, on self care and what you think I should try to focus on and do for myself that I might not already be doing.

Dr Orlena: Okay, yeah, good, good questions. So, is self care in terms of weight loss or self care in terms of looking after yourself?

Dr Orlena: Like, that putting yourself first bit.

Beth: If you have time, if you could do a little bit of both, that would be great.

Dr Orlena: Yeah, I'm happy to do whatever you want to do. So you could, this is, pick your brains, pick my brains. So in terms of the four pillars, weight loss is mostly about what you eat. And sleep is important, but it's not something that, well, we can talk about it now, but with the fact that your children waking up, that's difficult.

Dr Orlena: , in terms of healthy eating, I advocate the Mediterranean style diet. Tell me how much. How much sugar and things do you think you eat during the day? I

Beth: try to be mindful of it and not have too much, but I mean, it's the little things that are keeping me from breaching a calorie deficit. You know, it's Two or three Hershey kisses here. Like I, I took the kids out for doughnuts. I wouldn't get a doughnut for myself, but if my five year old leaves a couple bites behind, I would think nothing of just, you know, eating that last couple bites before throwing it in the garbage.

Beth: You know, it's lots of little bites, licks, tastes. Like, you know, I make an ice cream cone for my seven year old. I don't make an ice cream cone for myself, but I'll lick this stuff. Spoon before I throw it in the dishwasher. Like it's, that's why I feel like it creeps in and I don't realize how much I'm having because it's not like I'm sitting down with a cake in front of the TV or a pint of ice cream and just going to town.

Beth: It's just the little grabs of like that I need to clean up and stop doing.

Dr Orlena: I'm totally with you. And I think number one, recognize that that is a habit. And habits are human. We have a human drive to seek glucose. It's not like you're broken or, you know, it's the lack of willpower. It is just, that's a human drive.

Dr Orlena: We all have that human drive, which is to go and sleep, seek glucose. That's part of our sort of internal makeup, like glucose, glucose, glucose, and that's perfectly normal. It is more of a habit in some people than others for various reasons. And part of it, part of getting to where you want to get to. Where you want to get to is.

Dr Orlena: You're eating healthily and doing all of these things in a healthy way that you enjoy, and it's easy. And when you get there, you can sometimes have sugar and treats if you want to, but it's kind of easy for you to say no. You're just like, yeah, actually, I'm not that worried. I might have it, I might not have it.

Dr Orlena: I think about myself, and I do eat cake. My son, he's 16, he loves to make chocolate cake for somebody's birthday, so of course I eat the chocolate cake because he's made it, and it's a big Family thing, but it's not like I'm constantly eating cake. And normally I'm like, actually, do you know what? I'm perfectly fine without the cake.

Dr Orlena: It's not like totally excluded, but it's, yeah, I'm more than happy to take it or leave it as opposed to gritting your teeth and going, no, I don't want the cake. So the question is, how do you get there? And there are two things that you really need to focus on. Number one is your nutrition and what you're eating.

Dr Orlena: And what I do with my clients, and you can do this by yourself, is what I call a two week reboot. And a two week reboot is, be perfect, do it perfectly, set yourself the goal to do it perfectly for two weeks. And what that looks like is, no refined white, what I call white refined carbohydrates. So, no sugar, no pasta, no bread.

Dr Orlena: You want to not do alcohol and anything that's got sugar in essentially, and then you're doing the Mediterranean style diet, which is fruits and vegetables, lentils and legumes that you can do it without the lentils and legumes, but you set yourself this task to do it for two weeks. Why? Why bother doing this?

Dr Orlena: Well, for various reasons. Number one, you can do anything for two weeks. You can do this for two weeks. You may not do it perfectly, but you can do it for two weeks. And as you go through that process of doing it, various things happen to you. Number one, your taste buds, your taste buds change. They regrow every two weeks.

Dr Orlena: The more sugar you're eating, the more you've taste that sugar. And as you stop eating sugar, your drive for sugar actually disappears. It decreases. And so you get to the stage where you're like, Oh, I, I'm fine without sugar. The other thing that happens as you go through that two weeks is, we also have this drive, you know, when I feel hungry or in your case, when I'm feeling a little bit, like, tired and stressed and lacking that sort of emotional blanket, I reach for food.

Dr Orlena: And we have this sort of thought that if you're hungry, I need to eat something. And that's not true. Your body's perfectly capable of, it's got energy and it's perfectly capable of accessing that energy. It's just in our mind, we think, Oh my goodness, I have to eat something. Otherwise I'm going to fall in a heap.

Dr Orlena: And that's not true. Now, if you do that for two weeks, you get to this stage where you're, you find it easier to access that internal energy. It's just easy. For example, I get up every single morning. I don't eat. I go swimming. Is that because I'm superwoman? No, it's not. It's just that I know that my body can manage that without having to eat anything.

Dr Orlena: What else happens when you do your two week reboot? Your mindset changes and you begin to see yourself being able to do this and that it's not so bad, that life without sugar is not as bad as you think it is going to be. You cut out all those little Chocolate Hershey's and all the licks and things like that.

Dr Orlena: And you do it for two weeks and then you're like, Oh my goodness, I've done this. It's easy. It's so not as difficult as I thought it would be. So you go through that process. Whilst you're going through that process, you're also paying attention to your mindset. So as you go through that process. You might find yourself actually having one of those Hershey's Kisses and then you catch yourself and you're like I've eaten it or I haven't eaten it, it doesn't matter, like, either of them is a learning process.

Dr Orlena: You can start to question yourself and go, why? What was going on? And just get curious about it. It's not about beating yourself up or blaming yourself, it's just like, hey, what happened? What happens to you, let me ask you, what happens to you when you're eating those Hershey's cookies the kisses, what, what's going through your mind at the time?

Beth: Honestly, sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it. I just like, oh, see it on the table, pop one in my mouth, and I'm like, oh, what am I doing? Because great intentions, like I really do, you know, say to myself, like, okay, you know, today, like, I'm gonna plan, like, what I'm gonna have, like, I'm, you know, I'm gonna, I'm going to be really good today.

Beth: And then I just don't have the discipline. Like I end up like, I

Dr Orlena: love the fact that you've brought up discipline. What I'm hearing you say is that you're not thinking about it at all. When you're not thinking about something, it is a habit. It is just a habit. There's no emotional thing there. It's just like, Oh, I didn't even realize that I was doing it.

Dr Orlena: When we're thinking about habits, well, number one, as you go through this You are building up that awareness of. Oh, actually, I'm going to put it back in the box or put it in the rubbish bin, wherever you're going to put it, as opposed to in your mouth. And it's building up that awareness so that you can just change your habit and do something else.

Dr Orlena: Now you talked to me and you said, okay, I don't have the discipline to do it. It's not about discipline. When we make these changes, what we want is to set up our lives. It's easy for us to do those things. And there's different ways you can do this. You can do this with. physical ways. An example of physical ways is you just don't have the Hershey's Kisses in your house.

Dr Orlena: And then it's really easy. Obviously, there's a knock on effect for your children, but they can live without Hershey's Kisses as well. That's a physical way of doing it. But there's also internal ways of doing it. Which could be, you could set up like your identity, which is, I actually don't eat chocolate anymore or for two weeks.

Dr Orlena: It doesn't have to be permanent. It could just be for a short period of time for this period of time. Whilst I'm doing the reboot, I am a person who eats like this and that's an internal limit and you might find yourself breaking it from time to time without thinking about it, but that's what we call a golden learning opportunity.

Dr Orlena: That's a, Oh my goodness. This is that repeated behavior that happens time and time again. And then you start thinking, how can I change this? How can I do it differently next time so that I'm not doing it on autopilot? And there's no right answers to any of those things. That's part of the process of doing it.

Dr Orlena: Here's a question for you, how can you make it easy for yourself to not eat the Hershey's Kisses that are left on the table?

Beth: I can't really get rid of the candy, it's, it's, it's time, I mean, my kids have so many other snacks that I'm not tempted by that that's not an issue. I've been trying to load up the refrigerator with like a lot of fresh fruit, like things that I do enjoy that are already kind of prepped for me, like if there's a big bowl of fruit salad I can kind of, Just pick at that and, you know, I don't have to take any extra steps of washing it or cutting.

Beth: It's already done. I've been trying to make a little area for like my healthy thing. If I'm going to reach for something, it's like carrot sticks and hummus. It's just a lot of times I don't want the things that I've planned for that I know are good for me. You know, sometimes I just want

Dr Orlena: Here's another thing that I think is really important to think about as well is thinking about.

Dr Orlena: The health impact of eating sugar and it's sugar is basically a little bit like smoking Actually, it's more complicated than that because we do need sugar. We do need carbohydrates in our diet and as do our children. But what we don't need is white refined carbohydrates. We don't need refined sugar in our diet.

Dr Orlena: And that refined sugar, when it spikes, when it goes up above a certain level in our body, it is damaging our body. It's one of the main reasons that we age. And get wrinkles and things like that is partly sun, but also partly our sugar levels are going high and over a period of time, it damages our body.

Dr Orlena: That's why people with diabetes, they get all those horrible complications because their blood sugar levels are high. Much more than ours are, if we don't have diabetes, our body goes, Wait, we don't want these high levels, and it has lots of mechanisms to, to lower it. But that doesn't mean that every time that you eat candy, or your children eat candy, And I'm not saying you should give up candy, But it's a really useful thing to just rethink that candy, and think, You know what?

Dr Orlena: It is actually damaging my body. And here's me saying, I want to look after myself, and nourish myself, You know? Would you do that with a cigarette? Well, I haven't actually asked you if you smoke, but, but do you see what I mean? Now, why don't you eat, why don't you smoke cigarettes? Tell me about your identity.

Dr Orlena: Are you a smoker or a non smoker?

Beth: I'm a non smoker. Okay,

Dr Orlena: When I say to you, do you want a cigarette, is it easy for you to say yes or difficult for you to say yes?

Beth: Very easy for me to say yes. I don't like the smell of it. I don't like, you know, the, the smoke. I don't like your hair smells, your clothes smell.

Beth: It's exactly, a

Dr Orlena: long thing of negative things about smoking, but with sugar, all you can think about is the positive things. It tastes good. But actually I can list a long thing of negative things about sugar, about how it's damaging your body and your children's body. And once you start changing that and you start changing your identity to, okay, I eat sugar occasionally, but it's not something that I really eat.

Dr Orlena: on a daily basis, you get to that stage where you, your identity's changed. And I say to you, do you want sugar? And you're like, nah, I'm good, thanks. But that takes a journey to go through, but it starts with doing the reboot and paying attention to how you're thinking about things, including how do I prioritize my health and wellness?

Dr Orlena: Did that help you, Beth?

Beth: It did. Yes. Thank you.

Dr Orlena: Do you feel like you've got some actionable steps to take forwards?

Beth: I do, yes.

Beth: I have a lot of knowledge about how to be healthy. I mean, I had listened to podcasts. I follow influencers on social media. I have books and books. I'm always at the library getting more books. I've read every, you know, diet and cookbook and tried all these things. Like, I have a lot of knowledge as to like, what is healthy and what I should be doing.

Beth: It's just actually implementing them. I mean, I have, All the stuff to, you know, to, to fill out and track what I eat. And I don't want to do the math of counting macros. I don't want to give up full food groups and go keto or paleo. I want to eat clean. I, I, I try to make a plan for the week. I try to make a plan for the day.

Beth: It's just in that moment, what I want in the moment always kind of trumps what I want most, which is weight loss. Yeah, yeah. I know that I need to be more mindful in the moment when I'm, you know, reaching for that snack because that's what's derailing me. That's what's keeping me from actually losing the weight.

Beth: Like it's great that I eat salad. It's great that I go to the gym five days a week. It's great that, you know, I walk my kids to and from school and I get to eat. 13, 000 steps. You know, it's great that I'm doing these things for my health, but it's not moving the weight loss needle because I keep doing these things that are setting me back.

Dr Orlena: Yeah, absolutely. And you're so not alone. I promise you. I hear this so frequently and I always say to people, you don't have a knowledge gap, you have a doing gap. And you actually remind me of a client that I had years ago. Her name was Dr. Alexis and she was a dentist. And she was so frustrated because.

Dr Orlena: She's like, I'm a dentist. I know all of this, but I just can't apply it to myself. Now what I think is there's a really interesting paper by the harvard medical school and they basically Look at two keys and they say how do you lose weight and keep it off now? Number one Is finding a system that works for you and number two not surprisingly is sticking to it and keeping doing it but when we look at Okay, I know you've got the turning to food for comfort bit, but it's about your whole life.

Dr Orlena: It's about all of those four pillars. And once you have got all of that working, then it's easy for you to be able to do it. It's just that you haven't found that system yet, so you haven't got the system yet, and then, instead of saying, okay, I've got my system, and now all I have to do is keep doing it, It's like, oh, this hasn't worked, so I'm going to try this, and I'm going to try this, and I'm going to try this.

Dr Orlena: It's like constantly looking for the next thing, the next cure, as it were, the next thing to try. Will this work? Will this work? As opposed to, no. Let's just cover the basics and do the basics really, really well. And then just keep doing them and keep doing them and keep doing them.

Beth: Yeah,

Beth: I agree. I mean, I listen to your four pillars and I know that there's nothing I can do about the sleep. I sleep as much as I can. I can't control how many times I have to wake up. Like, I don't wake myself up. You know, but I have, you know, sometimes it takes me an hour to, like, settle, you know, my son back down and, you know, then he pops up an hour later, or my daughter will pop up, like, I know that I, all I can do is try to go to bed when they go to bed, you know, like, I, that's the earliest I can, I can try to make it work.

Beth: For my, for my diet, like, I know that I can always, there's, there's always ways to improve my diet and, you know, to, to eat cleaner, and I'm really gonna try my best to dedicate myself, especially, like, summer's here, all the fruits and vegetables, and the farmer's market, like, there's no excuse not to, everything's in season, everything is tasty, I'm really gonna try hard to clean up my diet and limit the sugar.

Beth: And I'm going to do the two week reboot that you had suggested. It just seems like there's never a great time for the reboot because, you know, there's all this temptation. There's all these things going on. It's always like a holiday, a picnic. There's always things that kind of like derail me from making a perfect, you know, two weeks.

Dr Orlena: You're hitting on another point that I think is really important. So that key number two, and they don't talk about it specifically, but it is one thing that I see that having support, Really, really helps you get there. Why? Because life is always lifing. But when you have that accountability and that motivation to keep going.

Dr Orlena: You're like, yeah, I'm committed. I'm committed to doing it and you keep doing it and you keep doing it. And I think actually that's a really big piece of the puzzle is you don't have to have all the answers at the beginning, but if you keep going and you keep going and you keep going, you get there. But what happens is.

Dr Orlena: You put it off, and you put it off, and you put it off, and so it never really happens. And I do think support is a big key, whether, and, you know, I'm happy to talk to you about my program, or, like, other people have programs, or even, you know, you just have your neighbor next door, or your best friend, and say, please just hold me accountable to do this, please, let's do it together.

Dr Orlena: Let's, do you see what I mean? That doing things together, and having that support, And on one level, it just feels like, really? Like, is that the big difference? But actually, when we look at how we've made big achievements in our life, I don't know, think of an achievement that you've made in your life that's amazing.

Dr Orlena: You need to give, give me some more achievements. Yeah for a really long time, so I'm trying to think, like, usually it's like, I have the laundry done today! Yay! So, you've brought up two children. By yourself, mostly. What about schooling? You finished school? I did, yeah, I graduated from college. Perfect, you did that.

Dr Orlena: Those are two things, and I don't even know you, I'm just guessing at some of the things that you've done. But the reality is, I know you do a lot of things by yourself, but mostly we have some support as well. You know, whether it's financial support, if your husband is working, or, you know, going to college, at that time when you were a kid, you know, you had your support from your parents.

Dr Orlena: Like, we do things with support. We just don't acknowledge that support. We do do things by ourselves. I'm not saying that we haven't done those things, but the support really helps as well. Yeah, it's easier when you have someone to lean on, and someone to vent to, and someone to cheer you on. Exactly, exactly.

Dr Orlena: It was hard. Yeah, it's good to have somebody in the struggle with you that understands, like, what you're going through, right? Perfect. I'm just gonna press stop on the recording.

Dr Orlena: Perfect, perfect. Thank you so much for spending some time with us. Do you have any last questions for me?

Dr Orlena: No,

Dr Orlena: I don't think so. Perfect. And what's your aha moment from chatting today? Your aha moment is, we've talked about so many different things, your aha moment is one thing that you want to take away with this video. With you from this conversation.

Beth: I want to start thinking about my future self I really want to think about my identity like you had said like do I want to be a person that has sugar every day?

Beth: Do I want to be a person that's always like eating my kids leftovers and like? Treating my stomach as a tra as a trash can? Like, no. I that's not the person I want to be. So I'm gonna when I have these cravings, and I have these thoughts, and, you know, I'm gonna try to be a little bit more mindful, and, you know, say to myself, like, Is this really, you know, what I ultimately want for myself?

Beth: Is this taking great care of me? Is this, you know, my best choice?

Dr Orlena: Yeah. Perfect. And hopefully

Beth: I can kind of, you know, talk myself out of making some of those mistakes.

Dr Orlena: Perfect. Perfect. Well, thank you so much for spending some time with me.

Beth: Thank you for having me.