Why Smart Women Still Struggle with Healthy Eating: It's About Your System, Not Your Willpower

Introduction

Are you a busy, accomplished woman who excels in every area of life... except healthy eating? 

Join Dr. Orlena as she shares practical insights, proven strategies, and real solutions for making healthy eating feel effortless.

No more Monday morning restarts, no more afternoon energy crashes, and no more guilt about food choices. Discover how to create sustainable healthy habits that work with your busy life, not against it. 

Whether you're struggling with sugar cravings, stress eating, or simply finding time to prioritize your health, this podcast delivers actionable tips and transformative insights. It's time to make healthy eating as automatic as checking your morning emails.

Want Dr Orlena's personal support? Book a free chat here: https://calendly.com/orlenakerek/breakthrough-call-pod

"Eat Better Feel Amazing" video and details of Dr Orlena's Eat Smart System Program. (Kicking off January 13th.) https://www.drorlena.com/dr-orlena-eat-smart-system

Transcription of Podcast

Dr Orlena (00:01.595)
Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to Fit and Fabulous with me, Dr. Orlina. Why smart women still struggle with healthy eating? It's about your system, not about your willpower. Have you ever noticed how you can manage to do so amazing things, projects at work, juggling family, and keeping all of those plates spinning, but when it comes to healthy eating, it feels like a struggle?

So that is what we are talking about today. But before we dive in, I just want to say happy new year. I hope you had an amazing holiday. I had a very quiet and relaxing holiday here in Spain. And for me, what does that look like? Swimming in the sea, some beautiful crystal clear days and some not so crystal clear days. Walking with my husband, my kids obviously invited, but preferring to sit at home doing nothing as they are teenagers.

What else? my goodness, I painted my skirting boards, which for me, it's super exciting and very much like self care in that you don't really notice painted skirting boards. Do you know what I mean? It's a bit like brushing your teeth. You brush your teeth so that they don't fall out and turn black, or the other way around, turn black and fall out. And we look after ourselves so that we can avoid all of these horrible diseases like diabetes and heart disease. But we don't know.

that what we've avoided. Well, obviously we know that we've not got it, but we don't know what life would have looked like if we didn't look after ourself. And so, going back to skirting boards, I look at my skirting boards now and think, they look lovely, but most people are just gonna go, yeah, you've got some skirting boards. What an exciting life you lead. So self-care is not necessarily about big and dramatic changes. It's about having more energy, enjoying yourself.

having more confidence as well, I would say, and really more confidence in yourself, but also knowing that you are leading a healthy life. So anyhow, in summary, a quiet and tranquil rest so that I feel invigorated and ready to inspire you to lead your healthiest life in 2025. I tidied my office today in anticipation. New Year's resolution, I'm gonna keep my office tidier.

Dr Orlena (02:16.089)
I have a little outside office, all the leaves blow in and it gets quite dirty and I realized that I have been neglecting my little office. And I would like my office to be tidy so that it can be a good place for me to really think about all the issues that you and my clients face and how I can make it easy for you to lead a healthy life. Okay, enough rambling. Let's get on with today. Okay.

So what we're talking about today is you are amazing at so many things. You may work, you may not work. Have a family, not have a family, but juggling so many things. You're clever, you're intelligent, you can do amazing things, but when it comes to healthy eating, you keep falling back into old patterns and you don't really know why this is or that you do have some ideas about.

this is. So let's have a little think about what's really going on. Now there are loads of factors that play into this situation. And some of them are that you are relying on willpower and willpower my friend never works. so many people here, I hear them say, you know, I just lack discipline. Discipline my friend is not the issue. And as we go on today, I'll explain to you why discipline isn't

the issue and why this always fails. Basically, you can use willpower for a couple of weeks, but you can't use it in the long run. In the long run, your willpower is going to fall down. Now, another issue is that you're making decisions from scratch every day. What am I gonna have for dinner? When am I gonna fit in some exercise? When am I gonna go to bed on time? I know that I should be going to bed, but I've got to do this and I've got to do that, and I end up going to bed late or sitting on my phone or reading this book or whatever it is.

You're starting over each time life gets busy. So you think, okay, I'm gonna do this thing. I'm gonna walk around the block every single day. Hey, I always use this analogy and it's the beginning of January. So I'm gonna walk around the block every single day and then life gets busy. And then you have to think about the next thing. So the next thing might be, okay, I'm gonna go to the gym as opposed to just keep doing it and just keep doing it.

Dr Orlena (04:29.979)
And here's another big thing, you're missing support structure that you have in other areas of your life. So I don't know about you, but I have a degree, I went to university, but you know what? I didn't get that degree by myself. It wasn't like I just went and sort of sat there and somehow somebody gave me a degree because I was so amazing. No, it didn't work like that. It was like, ooh, the teachers had put together this amazing programme and I just went and turned up to the lessons and then I had to do exams and things. So yes, there was a lot of input for me.

But I had a lot of support, the same as my kids who go to school. I don't expect them to learn maths and languages and things like that without any support. They have teaching support and we have support in all areas of our lives. If you are good at sport, if you play a musical instrument, think about, or if you've learned another language, think about all of the support you have. And that support may be teachers, it may be emotional support, it may be tools. Now, I'm learning Italian with Duolingo and Duolingo is great.

but it supports me. Without Duolingo, I would not be able to learn Italian. So why does this matter? What does this look like in real life? Let me share a story of a lady who is called Jennifer, and she is a successful project manager juggling a demanding career with family. And when I first met her, every morning, she'd promise, sorry, every Monday morning, she'd promise herself, this week is gonna be different, I'm gonna nail this, I know what I need to do, I'm just not great at doing it, so this week is gonna be...

what I'm gonna do. So, you know, she'd stock up on fruits and healthy snacks thinking I'm gonna eat better. But you know what? By Tuesday, urgent deadline, skip lunch, find herself ravenous by 4 p.m., eat whatever she could find in the office, and then feel guilty and frustrated, wondering why she couldn't stick to it when, you know, she's so competent in all other areas of life. And then at home, dinner would become a last minute scrabble.

or end up ordering takeout or frozen meals and just feeling disappointed in herself and thinking, you know, why can't I do this? What is wrong with me? Social events as well were stressful because she'd either restrict herself and think, you know, I'm not allowed to eat this and then feel miserable. Or if she says, okay, I'm gonna eat some of the food, then you feel guilty that you have not done what you said you would do. And I remember her saying, I know what to do.

Dr Orlena (06:54.189)
I just can't seem to make it stick. What on earth is wrong with me? Now, if any of that resonates, one thing I want to tell you is you are not alone. And I think it is a big myth that so many people say, do you know what? It's just healthy eating. It's just the way I eat. It's just the way I lead my life. And that really minimizes everything that we do. Because yes, of course, you know the difference between a broccoli and a cake. It's not that.

It's not a knowledge thing, it is being busy and having other things to do. And personally, I have helped so many people who are in the healthcare profession, doctors, dentists, vets, they know what healthy living is and they know when they're not doing it. And it doesn't necessarily make it easy for you to do it just because you know about it. It's a bit like if I read a recipe book,

do all of those recipes jump out and I'm suddenly eating all of this food? No, it doesn't work like that. You have to go and make the recipe in the same way that you actually have to go and eat the healthy food as opposed to just know what the healthy food is. And I think one of the biggest things I see that is missing is a system. And now you might be thinking, okay, I hate systems.

They really make it difficult for me. I like to be spontaneous and I like to use my time. And the answer is, do you know what? A system gives you all of those things. A system allows you to be more spontaneous as opposed to think, help, I have no idea what I'm doing. A system gives you more time because instead of you thinking, my goodness, what am I gonna cook for dinner? You know what you're gonna cook for dinner and then you can just do the other things that you want to do. And...

I see that in other areas of our life, we're so used to using systems. So for example, my work, if something is in my calendar, it happens. If it's not in my calendar, chances are I will forget to do it. What about my kids? My kids all have a system, a routine, they go to school and they have extracurricular activities and we have a routine for that. I know what every week looks like for my kids. And that allows me to create an eating routine when we have dinner, when we don't have dinner, et cetera, et cetera, all...

Dr Orlena (09:13.135)
because of that system, how you pay your bills. Another one, we have systems in most areas in our life. And I know that I never used to have systems until I basically became a doctor and worked in healthcare and there you have to have systems because otherwise everything just falls apart. So why not have a healthy eating system? And when I say healthy eating system, it is like your life, it's like living your life.

but it's about creating systems and habits and routines that work for you. And of course, they have to be systems that work for you. I could happily tell you my system, but that's not gonna help you because my system relies on me getting up at seven o'clock on Sunday to go to my local fruit and vegetable market, which you don't live near. So it doesn't work in that way for you. You have to create a system that works for you. So like what difference does it make? So for Jennifer, now she has a system in place.

Her mornings are calm because she knows exactly what she's eating that day and she knows that she's not gonna be hungry. She's got a system that she feels full up and satisfied. And she also knows how to deal with her emotions. So it's not emotional eating at 3 p.m. When work gets busy, she's got her healthy lunch ready and planned. And her afternoon energy is stable because she's not relying on that sugar roller coaster. She handles unexpected.

meetings or challenges with Eads because her system is adaptable. So what do I mean by that? Well, you know, life is always throwing you a curve ball and if you don't have like system number B, shall we call it, you don't have emergency tools, then everything falls to pieces. But when you have those emergency tools and you have to do something quickly, then you know what to do. An example, I remember once walking my children,

to the beach near us and we stayed out, this was a few years ago when they were quite young, we stayed out quite a long time and we walked there. My husband was away so I couldn't just phone him and say, hey, can you pick us up in the car? We had to walk back and by the time we got back, it was quite late and here was me thinking, my goodness, I've got four reasonably young kids. You know what kids are like when they're hungry, they get a bit grumpy. I need something super quick. Well, the super quick thing that I did, which is my emergency plan is homemade baked beans and eggs and it's so easy. It is just.

Dr Orlena (11:33.989)
Some tins of beans, use, my goodness, white beans and chickpeas and lentils because that's what I can buy here in Spain. And I use a jar of tomatoes and I put in some paprika. My kids love this. Obviously it has to be suitable to your family. I do this partly because my kids love it. But it's easy, it's nourishing, it's got all food groups in it. It's great for them. And it's super easy and my kids were happy and it takes me about five minutes to make.

Okay, that was an example for my life. Going back to Jennifer. Okay, so for her, social events are now enjoyable because she has got the emotional tools to be able to say, do you know what, I am going to eat this food or I'm not going to eat this food and I'm not going to feel guilty about it. This is what I call the cupcake test. So, you know, when I start working with people, they are offered a cupcake or whatever kind of food it is, and they often try and use discipline, willpower to go through it. And they say no.

And, really they want to say yes. And they're sort of, you know, clenching their fists and gritting their teeth and going, no, no, no, I don't want the cupcake. Really inside they're screaming, give me the cupcake, I want the cupcake. But they know they're gonna feel guilty if they eat the cupcake. So it's a no win, no win situation basically. However, when you've done the mindset work on this, you get to the stage where you're like, okay, I'm either gonna eat the cake and enjoy it. I always say to people, if you are going to eat something,

enjoy it, otherwise there's no point in eating it. So eat the cake and enjoy the cake and don't feel guilty about it. Or I'm not gonna eat the cake and that's perfectly fine. I'm perfectly happy not eating the cake. I don't feel deprived because I have made a choice to not eat the cake. I've made a choice that I don't wanna eat the cake and other people, they can eat the cake around me, but I'm not eating the cake. So social events become enjoyable because you are in a win-win situation as opposed to a no-win, no-win.

But most importantly for Jennifer, it's about not constantly thinking about food or feeling guilty about your choices. And so the turning point was that basically she needed to apply the same systematic approach in her eating that she was using for work. And that was basically the work that I did her. Just as she wouldn't run a major project without systems and support, she couldn't expect to do the same with eating habits through willpower alone.

Dr Orlena (13:59.949)
And she said to me, the biggest change is that I'm not starting over every Monday any morning. When life gets busy, and it always does, my systems keep me going. It's like having an autopilot for healthy eating. I'm not perfect, but I don't need to be. The system handles the heavy lifting for me. So systems, habits, and routines are the keystone. They have to be habits, sorry, systems that work for you, that fit into your life. But the whole point is you create a system

and then you keep going and keep going. Because what you don't want in healthy eating is to do something for a few weeks and then stop doing it and do something else. So I hope that I have helped you see that system is something that is super, super important for you and that in 2025, you can work a little bit to make your own system a little bit more healthy. Progress is better than perfection. You don't have to have a perfect system.

However, if you would like to have some support from me, then my coaching program is exactly what we do. We do putting in your healthy eating system. And if you'd like to know more about that, then please book a call with me and we will chat and I will tell you what it is like. Now, if you're not interested in coaching and you think, actually, I just wanna do this by myself, but I need a few pointers, then for you, I have a brand new program that is coming out January the 13th and it's called Dr. Olena's Eat Smart System. And it is...

the tools, the information that you need to be making the choices and how to apply them to your life. So it's not coaching, but it is all the tools that you need. Now, there's also a video called Eat Better Feel Amazing, and it's on the same page. So you can watch that video, which explains exactly more details about what is healthy eating, some of the big issues that people have, and if you want to sign up for that program, you can sign up. As I say, we kick off next week. It's gonna be amazing. I am super excited. So.

Have a fabulous week and I will be back again next week.